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A brief note on the decline of Southern culture
All I knew about grits growing up was that mother used them as binder when she made cat food, which she did once every two weeks or so in a kettle filled with kidneys and other organs most western humans don't eat, but to which our three to five cats became addicted. The house smelled, and we all absented ourselves on cat food days. And we only had grits around in the first place because my father would occasionally get into a mood and fancy them for breakfast, though how he acquired that taste in Glendale, CA, I don't know. Probably the Navy. Blame them.
And so I acquired the notion that grits were fit only for animals and eccentric parents.
It is probable that my acquaintance with Southern cuisine began during my exile in Los Angeles, where I took to eating at Rosco's Chicken & Waffles whenever possible. Certainly my fondness for cheese grits dates to the first time Susan, who would become my wife, cooked for a whole bunch of friends.
The key ingredient in her cheese grits recipe (other than butter) is a 6-ounce tube Kraft produces that reads: GARLIC pasteurized process cheese food. Which is to say, garlic-flavored velveeta. Now, as the health food guy working parts of most days in the family garden, I realize it's a little...out of character...to embrace garlic pasteurized cheese foods, but cheese grits are good eating, even if only on very special occasions.
And so, in advance of little Maggie's fifth birthday, I went shopping, for we will be serving Fleming County cow burgers and turkey hot dogs to a few friends. And cheese grits.
The helpful man in the dairy department pointed me toward the garlic cheese food, and then added that the three boxes on display were the last we might ever see, for, apparently, it's being discontinued. I resisted the temptation to horde some, for it's not all that hard to toss garlic salt into velveeta.
But once again we have been victimized by the tyranny of the urban masses, who do not cook, who do not eat cheese grits, who are immune to the pleasures of this form of processed cheese food. Small town Southern life just lost another crucial flavor.
Posted by grant on April 25, 2008 4:01 PM | Permalink
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Comments
Your cheese grits with velveeta may be fine, but nothing beats good old Betty Crocker "herb & butter" mashed potatos in a box! Hey wait a minute...what if I melt some velveeta "garlic cheese food" on to my "instant mashed" potato's? Sounds like a nice artery clogger to me! Who wants seconds? Why, I do of course!!!!
TG
Posted by: Tom Gillam | April 25, 2008 11:17 PM
Apparently your wife and my mom use the same recipe. I've been sold on them since I was elementary-school-age. I fear she will be beside herself with this horrific news!
I suspect George Bush is somehow responsible for this....
Posted by: Peter Blackstock | April 26, 2008 2:32 AM
Y'know, given how trendy cheese grits are at these faux Southern restaurants all over the North, this is kind of hard to believe. Although maybe it's still being made available in large sizes from Kraft's food-service division.
Posted by: Ed Ward | April 26, 2008 1:41 PM
Omigosh. You just never know what doors you open, do you? I haven't thought about Kraft's Garlic Processed Cheese food since I was 13 years old and my grandfather died. Every day of his life that he lived with us, around 4:30 in the afternoon, he settled in at the kitchen table with Ritz crackers, his tube of Kraft's garlic cheese food, and a bottle of A-1 beer. Thanks for the memory.
Posted by: Linda Ray | April 26, 2008 8:59 PM
Wait! I remember, now. It wasn't Ritz crackers at all. It was Hi Ho crackers.
Posted by: Linda Ray | April 26, 2008 9:00 PM
Sorry for the triple post but on brief reflection, I remember something of this that's actually sorta on point. A-1 Beer, brewed in Arizona, was bought out by Carling Brewing in 1964. I don't think they've made A-1 since.
Posted by: Linda Ray | April 26, 2008 9:10 PM
You're right, Linda. In fact, I think Carling itself has been bought out by now.
Posted by: Ed Ward | April 27, 2008 8:33 AM
More Sorta Relevant Grandpa Trivia:
I got curious and looked up Hi Ho Crackers because I don't remember seeing them on the grocery shelf recently. Here's their deal: The 80-year-old company that made them was sold to American Tobacco Company in 1966 and, after another sale, was merged with Keebler in 1996. Keebler discontinued the Hi Ho brand. Bet Grandpa has it all in heaven, though.
Posted by: Linda Ray | April 28, 2008 12:24 PM
Here's where memory lane has led, now. It occurred to me that Nashville singer/songwriter Kevin Gordon had a Garlic Cheese Grits recipe in The Original Alt.Country Community Cookbook, which, like No Depression Magazine, was a product of the No Depression Board on AOL, but a year later. (I still have copies, BTW, if anyone wants a piece of culinomusic history)
Anyway, guess what I found on page 20! A photo of my grandfather, standing right in the middle of a 1957 US Steel company picnic, and the only one looking at the camera!
Here's Kevin's recipe for Garlic Cheese Grits, no garlic cheese required:
1 cup quick-cooking "instant" grits
3 cups water
2 eggs
8 oz quality pepper jack cheese
milk
garlic powder
1 stick unsalted butter
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook grits according to package directions. Melt cheese and butter in microwave (!). Beat the eggs and pour into a one-cup capacity measuring cup. Fill the rest of the cup with milk. When grits are done, remove from heat and pour in cheese/butter mixture and egg/milk mixture. Add fresh garlic or garlic powder as desired. Stir and transfer mixture to a lightly buttered casserole dish. Bake uncovered for 40 minutes.
Hmm. Sounds like instead of cornflakes you could crush up some Doritos to put on top before baking.
bon apetit!
Posted by: Linda Ray | April 29, 2008 12:04 AM